“Too often, people attempt to get rid of an issue. My response? Whoa! Wait a minute. This may be the very issue that you created to save your own life. You can't just remove it, like batteries from a radio, and expect your life to go on working.” -Toni Hartman, Chakra Wisdom Oracle Toolkit
Where Does Our Resistance Come From?
When We Want So Badly to Heal & Grow
and Make Our Dreams Come True,
Why Would We Sabotage Them?
She goes on to suggest that sometimes, our self-defeating behaviors, strategies, and choices are things we learned through observation at home when we were growing up. And sometimes, we inherited those tendencies.
But in either case, the book suggests that both the things we are trying to heal and the ways we find to sabotage ourselves are not going to go gently into the night, and in her opinion, we need to slow down, anyway, because in our haste to get rid of something, we may lose something that doesn't yet have a replacement.
Do you agree?
What If it's There for a Reason?
Early in my helping career, when I was a therapist, I shared this basic wisdom with my clients, who often felt extremely frustrated with their lack of progress.
Working as an energy healer has enabled me to help people heal more quickly than talking did, but we still encounter plenty of resistance!
And whatever you have in place - bad habit, self-defeating strategy, etc., it's there for a very good reason and it will not easily be retired until you have found another solution for the problem it was trying to solve. Originally.
So What's the Problem?...
What problems do you think your resistance or self-sabotage might be trying to solve? That question is your homework.
What we want to uncover is what you do behind your own back that keeps you stuck. And when you're doing that, what is your inner self up to at the time? Because the secret motivation is always an attempt to solve a problem. So what's the problem being solved?
Okay, I'll Go First...
For me, right now, I'm looking at how I managed to write a 100-page book and get it ready for the giveaway I'm participating in but I haven't taken the steps I need to so I can see it on Amazon when I do a search for my name or its title.
How am I sabotaging it? By worrying about needing to change the cover, by not looking for someone to help me format it for Kindle, etc. I did actually email someone about that last one, but he didn't email me back, and I haven't yet moved on to try someone else.
See what I mean? You need to dive into exploring the specific behaviors you're using, the things you're telling yourself, the underlying feelings. And then, you try to figure out why those behaviors are actually problem-solvers. What problem(s) are they solving?
The problem I am solving? My own fear of being visible and fear of embarrassment or shame if I fail, am rejected in some way, etc.
How to Be Sneaky & Use Your Own Strength...
So what we are doing this week is using your observation and awareness as strengths so you can get really clear about what needs to heal.
See you tomorrow!